I feel like the above picture describes my current state to a T. There are days, lots and lots of days where I have heart bursting moments and I say to myself “oh my gosh they are just so perfect, I could have a few more, I really could. I mean my pregnancy and labour have been really easy so why not?” and then there are those moments, those moments where I am pulling my hair out in frustration asking myself, “Why? Why did we have another? What were we thinking? Seriously how do the people with 4+ kids do it?” And the ultimate question “Is it to early to have a glass of wine yet?” or better yet, “tequila shots anyone?”
In all honesty, I love them both to bits, I really do, but to say this past 6 weeks has been easy, would be a lie. It probably doesn’t help that we have been busy, really, really busy. We’ve had weddings, birthday parties, Thanksgiving, open houses, conferences, we haven’t really had much time to just unwind and relax as a family of four.
I will also admit that I am the worst at asking for help. It’s not that I am afraid of looking weak or like I can’t handle having two kids at home. It’s that I just don’t see where someone could really help me out. I don’t expect family or friends to come over and scrub my toilets or put away my mountain of laundry. Everett sleeps ALL THE TIME so sneaking in a nap with him is no big deal and besides I love my cuddles with him. Where I would need the help is with Hazel, someone to take her for an hour or two or a day 😉 But I don’t want to keep passing her off, she needs her mommy time and the last thing I want is for her to feel pushed away.
Hazel has definitely been the most difficult part of the past 6 weeks. My little Hurricane is living up to her nickname and the storm has been coming in full force, a category 5 if you will. We have been on a nap strike for the last month, and it’s been absolutely killing the whole house. H is usually up around 6:30-7am so with out a nap it makes for a VERY long day. When bed time rolls around, she is an absolute nightmare. Kicking and screaming, the meltdown is epic and not pleasant, (remember those tequila shots I mentioned?) We are also refusing to eat our dinner on most nights, yet we demand snacks constantly. We have become such a “I do it myself” queen that we have had to put locks on the fridge and the pantry as I have come downstairs in the morning (yup at 7am) to a floor covered in Cheerios and Pringles and a half eaten carton of raspberries on the stairs. Did I mention that we have a top mount fridge? So this little monkey has taken anything and everything over to the fridge so that she can get in. If it wasn’t for the lock we would have no chairs on our main floor. I actually took away her little stools one day and was very pleased as I thought I had won the battle, only to turn around and see that she now had the accompanying table pushed against the fridge, yup she won that round (momentarily), bye bye table!
The attitude I was not prepared for this. I know they say terrible twos but oh my! “no mom, stop talking to me.” “Go away mom, leave me alone.” “I want it.” “I need it.” and the absolute killer is when she calls me by my name, “No Andria, I don’t need a nap.” Excuse me? I didn’t realize that I would have a two going on twenty year old. It terrifies me for the years to come, or just maybe she will get out all of her attitude now and be the most pleasant teenager ever, hahahaha, I can dream right?
All that aside she has moments, lots of them, where she absolute kills me with her heart. She absolutely loves E, wants to hold him all the time. She talks to him lots, telling him he’s cute and sweet. She cuddles up to me right after she gives me attitude and looks me right in the eye and says “Mom, your my bestest friend ever.” and I can do nothing but cuddle her back and tell her she’s my best friend too.