The happy days are here, but most days I feel like I am still waiting for the happy days. They say these are the best days, when your children are young, growing, learning, exploring. They say to enjoy every second and soak up all of the firsts. But I often find myself struggling to enjoy those little moments. Instead of happy times I find myself in a time thats filled with defiance. The defiance is so strong and so often that we find ourselves staying home for days at a time. I find myself tired and running low on patience, not having the energy to deal with the meltdowns or protests, so I pass up play dates and walks in favour of hunkering down inside.
Days like today are days where I push myself to get us out, as I know we need it. The fresh air, the freedom, the excitement of an adventure, it’s embraced by all. After a tough night I decided fresh air was what we all needed and what better place for fresh air than the beach. We all love the beach, the salty air, the warm sun, and the freedom. When the tide is out it creates the perfect amount of freedom for Hazel to run around, all while still in my vision. So this morning we packed our bags and headed out first thing, grabbing breakfast on our way. We arrived at the beach early, set up our camp, enjoyed our breakfast and then got right into playing. Castles were made, shells were found and of course sand was eaten. Soon others started to arrive at the beach and off we ran to play with the other kids. And this is were it all started.
Too fascinated with what the other kids were doing, we instantly stopped listening. We ran from one end of the beach to the other, making our way out into the water, all while ignoring my requests to come back. Had I not been soothing a teething baby, I would have been chasing after her. We eventually made our way back and then went straight over to the rocks. We followed the older kids, barefoot, as they started to climb the rocky side and attempted to follow suit. This is what set me into over drive and I hustled over to get her, all while nursing a baby in my carrier. I pleaded with her for her to stop climbing the rocks, but all I got in return was nothing but attitude. The attitude you would expect from a teenager and not a two year old. That’s right, a two year old. She make look and sounds a lot older than she is, but she is only two.
Though she be but little, she is fierce.
To the mom that was standing right next to me as I tried to reason with my toddler to come down, when she gave me attitude, the last thing I needed was for you to snicker. What you don’t realize is I forced myself to get out of the house this morning, just as I did the day before. I knew my little family needed to get out, as we had spent the better part of the last two weeks cooped up at home. Cooped up at home as I didn’t have the energy to get us out. I was afraid for this very moment, that she would stop listening and start kicking and screaming. I stood there trying to keep my cool as she continued to disobey me and you continued to snicker as I tried to pry her from the rocks, while trying not slip, with a baby attached to me. After grabbing her off the rocks she continued to kick and scream and cry the entire way back to the car. She tripped and fell, spilling her box of donuts everywhere and the screaming continued, as did your snickering I’m sure. I waited until we got home before I completely fell apart and crumbled, frustrated and exhausted with how it all went down. I wish you could have seen that, perhaps then you might not have snickered. I know that we’ve all been there and I can only hope that the next time you find yourself in that situation, you save your snickers until the person is no longer beside you.