The Question

Today I am going to share something a bit personal with you. It’s not a fun post, it’s something I have debated sharing for a while now. It’s been on my mind for a few months, nagging at me on a daily basis. I have hummed and hawed over keeping it to myself but I think one of the only ways to help me get over it, is to share it. I have been told to “get over it” but I just can’t. If you have any insight or suggestions or just comments in general I would love to hear what you have to say so please share away.


When I first found out I was pregnant with #2, I got asked a question. A question that I never thought I would hear in a million years. A question that I didn’t think existed in todays day and age. A question that left me so shocked and appalled that months after being asked I just can’t bring myself to forget it or get over it.

Are you going to keep it?

Point blank, straight faced, no hesitation. I was shocked, appalled, and confused to say the least. Why on earth would someone ask me if I was going to keep my baby? Of course I was going to keep it. I am happily married, a mom to one, so why would I not want to expand my little family? It wasn’t like this was unplanned, it was as planned as a planned pregnancy could be.

Regardless of my martial status or family status, pregnancy is such a gift, a blessing if you will. While I do have friends that the moment you say baby they are instantly pregnant, I also have those that struggle. Friends that have struggled for months and months, if not years to get pregnant. Some that ended up using fertility treatments and were able to conceive, others that are still struggling even with treatment. Friends that have miscarried not once, but twice, and sometimes more. I recently read a blog post by Emma Hansen of Sincerely, Skin – Born Still but Still Born, I don’t think I have ever cried so hard. She carried her sweet Reid for 39 weeks and he passed away in utero when he should have been greeting the world.

While pregnancy can be such a scary and sometimes hurtful experience, it’s such a blessing and should be treated as one of the greatest gifts in the world. My heart aches for anyone that struggles with pregnancy or has experienced a loss, at any stage. I can’t even imagine how it would feel to lose a child. I just can’t wrap my head around why anyone would ask such a question.

Xo. Andria




4 thoughts on “The Question

  • May 1, 2015 at 9:03 am

    Was it a doctor that asked — some will ask just to make sure. My doctor always asks, – “this is good news right?!” After the loss of my 2nd baby at 13 weeks, and my cousins recent loss at 29 weeks, it really puts into perspective how precious life really is. If someone asked me that when I announced Brady, I would have been really upset too. We concieved him 6 months after our loss, and I was terrified of losing him as it was. I would never terminate.

    • May 1, 2015 at 1:22 pm

      Definitely not my Dr. My doctor is also a maternity clinic doctor and I’m pretty sure he would be just as confused by this question. I might have to ask him his thoughts next time I see him!

      • May 1, 2015 at 1:33 pm

        the more common question is.. “are you going to find our the sex” … “when are you due” … even “was this a planned pregnancy”(i got that because we aren’t married) is better than – “are you going to keep it”
        Its not like you hate kids, you have one already.
        i guess some people dont have a sensor


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