To the Lady in the Flower Shop

To the lady in the flower shop, I have to ask. Do you remember what it was like to go out with kids? We all know that going out with kids is no easy task. Even the smallest errand can turn into a great adventure. Not only do you need to pack what feels like the entire house but you will be asked a million questions just on a trip to grab a jug of milk. Am I right or am I right? 

I don’t know about you but because of this at times I find myself over thinking the tasks I have to run and avoiding some at all costs if I have the kids with me. The grocery store is one thing, especially those with double carts where I can strap them in and have no fear of them running loose, but little boutiques give me the worst anxiety. The moment I enter the store I break out into a sweat and have this undying fear that they are going to BREAK ALL THE THINGS. Not only would it be embarrassing having them break something but the last thing I want to do is spend my money paying for something I can’t even enjoy.

to the lady in the flower shop

It’s not that my kids are unbehaved little monsters, for 1 and 3 they are actually really well-behaved, but they are still kids. Kids are curious little beings that just want to know and touch EVERYTHING. No matter how many times I say;

Please do not touch that

Keep your hands in your pocket

Hands to yourself please

Just look with our eyes, not our hands

No touching please

And in my head I am almost always silently screaming DON’T F*!?ING TOUCH ANYTHING.

 In the end it doesn’t matter what I say or do kids are going to touch things, all the things. Which brings me to todays errand. It’s my grandmas 80th birthday tomorrow and we are celebrating dinner out tonight so I wanted to get her some flowers. This is an errand I could have easily run while my daughter was in preschool and I only had one set of sticky fingers to control but I knew it would kill her if I went with out her. She finds beauty in almost everything and absolutely loves flowers.

to the lady in the flower shop

So after picking her up from preschool we stopped by your flower shop on our way home. I had yet to check out your flower shop but my husband has twice now (my birthday and valentines day) brought home gorgeous bouquets from it so that’s where we headed.  We walked into the store and after a quick hello we went straight for the bouquets to make our selection. With so many temptations, this errand was going to be a quick in and out. I am sure you heard but in between asking my daughter which flowers she liked best I was constantly repeating the same thing over and over again;

“Hazel, Everett, over here please.” “Please do not touch that.” “No touching the flowers please.” 

And then suddenly my son made a dart for the shelf lined with vases, but in true quarterback style I tackled him, gathering him into my arms and went back to looking at the bouquets. Within this 30 seconds while wiping the sweat from my forehead I forgot to remind my daughter to not to touch the flowers for the millionth time, to which you felt the need to remind me of from behind the counter.

“Please remind the kids not to touch the flowers.”

I’m sorry that you felt the need to step in. I’m not sure if you hadn’t heard me tell my daughter to not touch the flowers, about 5 times previously but I was doing my best to keep the two of them from touching anything.  I thought I was doing a good job, we had only been in the store for a couple of minutes and my 3 year old was simply trying to smell the flowers, it’s not like she was playing loves me, loves me not with your roses.

I could understand the need to step in and say something if my children were running around and I was not paying attention to them. But the fact that I had been repeating the same thing over and over again,  and not quietly either shows that I was trying my best to teach my kids how to behave. Truth be told I really don’t need anyone reminding me how to parent, no matter how wild my children are being. 

So to the lady at the flower shop, take a chill pill. They are kids, curious little kids, that see far more beauty in the world than you and I do. So instead of trying to micromanage my parenting, perhaps you should have stopped to smell the flowers with my daughter and appreciated the fact that she was trying to name all the different flowers. I think you really would have appreciated her curiosity if you had given her a chance. 

to the lady in the flower shop

Xo. Andria

12 thoughts on “To the Lady in the Flower Shop

  • March 7, 2017 at 9:05 pm
    Permalink

    How rude … and downright terrible, of her. I hope there’s a different local florist that you and your hubby can/will go to from now on!

    Brush it off, you seem like a great mom with two fantastic wee ones. ?

    Reply
    • March 8, 2017 at 8:51 am
      Permalink

      Thanks Crissy! I will for sure be seeing what other options we have locally, I am sure there are other great flower shops 🙂

      Reply
  • March 7, 2017 at 9:13 pm
    Permalink

    I couldn’t agree more with your post. People nowadays aren’t as empathetic and compasssionate. Like do people know how hard it is to keep two young kiddos from touching all those pretty shiny things. Its like putting an ice cream cone in front of them and telling them not to eat it. And its sad to say we mommas come across rhese types of situations far more than we should.

    Reply
    • March 8, 2017 at 8:52 am
      Permalink

      Right? At this age they are just so curious and all they want to do is learn. If only others understood we need to spend less time scolding them and more time teaching them. It would make the world of a difference.

      Reply
  • March 7, 2017 at 9:39 pm
    Permalink

    I definitely think my hormones are out of control and perhaps it’s because I have a 3 year old girl too, but this breaks my heart. Not only did that store owner perhaps lose a customer, she got to miss out on the magic of a little girl sharing what she finds beautiful. So often I find that people are so fixated on fixing that they miss the the good in people (even our active littles). One would hope that instead of reminding a parent how to parent, we can step in and help a parent out.

    Good for you for taking the opportunity to let your babe smell the flowers.

    Reply
    • March 8, 2017 at 8:54 am
      Permalink

      Thanks Amy! Someone else mentioned how a flower shop gives her son a flower to distract him and oh my goodness if the lady had done this it would have blown my daughters mind. She would have been over the moon, and it could have been babies breath for all that matters. But a little interaction would have changed the situation completely and the situation wasn’t even bad.

      Reply
  • October 6, 2017 at 8:14 am
    Permalink

    I don’t understand this lady. I remember when my own daughter was 3, we went into the local florist down the street from our church, out of the way from home. I was just browsing as my little one wanted to pick the flowers from one of our neighbors front lawns thought it would be better if she picked her own flowers from a store instead.

    As it was just me and her it was a little more easier to remind her not to touch but she did anyways she was just so curious about how they felt. She ended up buying pussy willows, she liked how soft they felt. The lady at the store watched grimaced every time she saw my daughter reach out and softly gently pat the petals but said nothing when we went to the counter to pay for the pussy willows the lady gave my daughter one of the roses that she kept patting.

    Told her that she was so gentle that she deserved to have one. I recommend that florist to EVERYONE I speak to. It’s out of the way and whenever I want flowers I go there. My daughter has a real love of them and seemed even more interested in them after that experience.

    This lady lost out on a connection that is better than paid advertisement, POSITIVE word of mouth.

    I am sorry for this experience.

    Reply
  • October 6, 2017 at 9:39 am
    Permalink

    I am speaking as a mother of two who are well past the toddler stage. I read your article which I interpreted that you felt judged and critiqued of your parenting. It sounds that you have a close bond with your kids and value their innate curiosity. This bond will serve them well now and in the future.
    Step back and think of the florist, she almost watched a shelf of vases be knocked over and was likely in “high alert” that an accident could happen. If she didn’t raise her voice at your daughter but reminded her of the shop’s rules, is this not “helping out” if you had already reminded her many times? Most people won’t think our children are as adorable as parents do, especially as toddlers. I am not judging you, just offering another perspective.

    Reply
  • October 6, 2017 at 11:17 am
    Permalink

    I took my kids out all the time at that age. A double stroller will help make your tasks less stressful and the shopowners too! You can feed them, give them toys to play with and STRAP THEM IN! The grocery store isnt the only place to strap them in. You can answer all their question in peace and control what they can and cannot touch.

    You know how aggregating it is to clean up after your kids whom you love so much. And you have only 2. Think about the shopowner who sees many people with many kids. She doesn’t want to clean up after your kids any more than you. Probably less! You are in her shop for 5-10 min. She is there for 8 hours. We need to be considerate of her too.

    It is true. You are tempting them by bringing them to the stores. So don’t tempt them. They only have so much self control at that age. That is why at your house you put all the fine china and crystal high up– to decrease tempation and prevent dangerous situations where kids get hurt . I agree that the shopowner could have given your child something to distract her, but so could you! A stranger can also give your hungry child something to eat but wouldn’t you rather it be from your kitchen? An emergency stash of toys and food are always a great idea.

    There are lots of places to “smell the roses”. Go and enjoy a park or garden where there are no dangerous breakables all over and aisles that need to be stayed in. Let them run and be kids! Just not in someone else’s store. There is a time and place for everything. Would you let your child run wild and smell the flowers during a funeral ceremony or in church?

    If we are overwhelmed, why can’t we accept help from a “villager” (you know, it takes a village to raise a child). It is not always criticizing or judging your abilities. Think of it as lending a hand. How many times has your child fallen into line if someone else tells them the same thing you did a million times? All the time! If the librarian tells your child to quite down after you have a thousand times, is she more likely to? Probably. Kids listen to others more. Simple. If the store owner reminded your kids to not touch the flowers, your child probably heard it. And you can say, “we have to not touch or we might get thrown out.” Now it isn’t you, the mother, telling them the rules but a person in power. They probably will listen more. Did they? The authority figure was the store owner. The boss if you will. (We moms know we aren’t always the boss that is for sure!) You said yourself you told them at least 5 times not to touch. Your words had no power. The shopowners did. I have wished that someone would tell my kid to be quiet or something when i have reached my limit and my words have lost their power. Don’t question your abilities as a mom. You are doing the best you can. We all are. Accept it as a helping hand. We can all use that sometimes!

    I saw a woman tell a child who was having a tantrum at her mother to respect her mother and that her mom does a lot for her. The child was shocked into stopping, the mother was at her wits end and it helped.

    Sometimes a strangers words have more impact than a parents. Stop thinking people are judginging you. Start changing your mindset to thinking it is a helping villager. You never know, you might end up helping someone else at their wits end one day too! Karma can be good too…

    Reply
  • October 6, 2017 at 4:13 pm
    Permalink

    In defence of the flower shop lady- this is her business, her livelihood and its likely that over the course of her day many people with small curious children come in and their curiousness causes her anxiety- not unlike yours at going into the shop( your own words). Maybe you need to understand where she’s coming from, maybe be empathetic towards her. Why do you need all the empathy here? Maybe she’s right to speak up since your words didn’t have an impact (sometimes someone else can have a better result with someone else’s kids). Maybe you should be thinking of ways to distract your children as you shop. Not sure why the flower shop lady is set to this task!

    Reply
  • October 10, 2017 at 9:10 pm
    Permalink

    To be fair, it’s potential loss of income for a small shop owner so every penny counts. Preventative measures? Perhaps she was hoping if she said something (being someone other than the child’s mother) that maybe your daughter would actually listen. I know my son listens to others over me telling him to stop doing something so maybe it’s not that big of a deal either way. You just gotta let some things slide. I have four kids and would never go to such a store with them..Costco has beautiful bouquets of flowers thank goodness! The few desperate times when I had to with two of my children, I would go through the instructions with them in the car, make them repeat it to me, prior to going into the store. I always hold my son’s hand because he would be that child that wants to touch everything but he knows the rules that he has to hold my hand the whole time as we agreed to. I can’t blame the lady in the store because she’s protecting her assets. It can be a tough business so as long as she wasn’t straight up rude, it should not be a big deal.

    Reply
  • November 14, 2017 at 10:17 am
    Permalink

    I would have told the lady “thank you!” And tell the kids “did you hear what the lady said?” Involve other kids with parenting because sometimes kids listen better to other people other than their own parents. I’m sorry if you felt offended it must have been an overwhelming quick visit to the flower shop. One visit doesn’t make you a regular customer specially for local business like a flower shop. Give them a chance to get to know your kids and vice versa your kids get to know your local community. As a business owner, specially for small business life is a struggle too. They all the support they can get. Unless the florist approach is unacceptable to the kids then by all means, they don’t deserve your presence. Just a thought.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: